once quirkless, always quirkless
by GGwallflower
Summary: izukuxbakugo Hi, I'm midoriya Izuku and I'm not okay. You know when you have a metaphorical knot in your stomach or that funny tasteless taste you get in your mouth before you puke? Well I had experienced that today but 10 times worse because turns out I have been living a lie. Fancy finding out that your childhood friend was actually a bully and wasn't just trying to protect you.
1. Chapter 1: metaphorical knot

Hi, I'm midoriya Izuku and I'm not okay. You know when you have a metaphorical knot in your stomach or that funny tasteless taste you get in your mouth before you puke? Well I had experienced that today but 10 times worse because turns out I have been living a lie. Fancy finding out that your childhood friend was actually a bully and wasn't just trying to protect you from the harsh world. I hate myself so much.

The class room was buzzing like usual after break time. Uraraka and I, despite wanting to talk about our latest mission we had together in a long time, was ushered to our seats by lida. Its crazy how far kachan and I have come, to think we were both able to get into the same school let alone the same class. We've been friends for years and it truly amazes me how much I looked up to him and even now with these greater heights he's pushed himself to. Sitting here looking at the back of his head reminds me of our younger days when he used to beat me and say abusive words toward me but I knew he was doing that to protect me. To get me away from the illusion that I could be a hero just like all might. Hes looked out for me all these years even now, rejecting my help, keeping the secret between all might and I. I couldn't ask for a greater friend.

'Alright everyone settle down' a voice called from the door way interrupting my thoughts. Sensei slid a hand out from under neath his cocoon of a sleeping bag and closed the door behind him. He then unraveled himself from the depths of his blanket layer and walked toward his desk. 'Mineta, sit down, those balls better not be anywhere else except on yourself' he said and looked down flicking through the papers in front of him while the class let out chuckles. 'Hmmm, oh. Umm, ok. So, today we will be doing something more sensitive, it's in the topic of rescue I guess and becoming everyone's hero' he carried on still reading the documents placed I front of him. 'Well, obviously we have to be everyone's hero! That's what we are! Oh, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT BEING A HEROS VILLAIN?!' Ashido's voice boomed from the other side of the room waking me up a bit. 'Not quite'

'Then who?' She said slumping back into her char with a puzzled look to which Aizawa sensei responded with,

'The quirkless...'

I couldn't understand. I was shocked, almost more than everyone else. Why would the quirkless have their own section in a rescue topic. This is impossible. I had done so much research into ua and being one myself I was curious about my kind and nothing popped up because I assumed we were equal in status to heros eyes but a section, was I wrong? How did I miss this? After a few seconds a whirlwind of laughter shook the room, everyone and I mean EVERYONE was in fits of giggles except me. No one was laughing more harder than kachan giving me a small glance exclaiming, 'is the class over sensei? Surely there's only two sentences right?' To which the class increased their level of laughter.

I don't get it.

'SHUT UP! All of you! How dare you laugh at people who are more unfortunate than yourselves, you should be ashamed. Compose yourselves. This sort of behaviour is the exact reason this has to be taught. This has been put on the education system this year and so is my first time teaching it meaning you WILL pay attention and I WILL be thorough with it. Now listen.' A snigger escaped from kachan mouth to which Aizawa shot him a glare and threw a chalk stick at him that hit him between the eyes.

I'm more unfortunate than them?

'20% of the population are quirkless and it is declining. The birthdate of them are still steady at that percentage marking, the reason it's depleting however, is the amount of suicides they have. You can tell who a quirkless person is by seeing if they have an extra bone in their little toe... - - -'

This discussion. I don't like it. I remember the day I was told I was quirkless. It still makes me sick. The graph held in front of my face being told that I could never achieve what I wanted. My mother, crying saying she's so sorry to me. As a child, how are you supposed to act towards that? Also suicide?! 'GO AND KILL YOURSELF DEKU!'

The shock of kachans younger voice awoke me from the trance I was in. I rose my hand, 'sir out of that, how many commit suicide?'

'About 91% of them which is why it's extremely rare to find a quirkless person who has gone past high school. As kids hit high school, everyone's quirks will become stronger. They start to compare themselves to each other and find a hierarchy and the person at the bottom are the quirkless and become an easy target. No matter how much they are failing in life, they are always stronger than someone and they become a punching bag.

'But... But that's so cruel! They know they can't defend themselves. It's wrong' lida stood up and said.

'No it's not, it's a dog eats dog world, the quirkless are just in the way and a pain in the ass. They are so weak and are probably just a burden on the heros. Kachan barked up while slamming his hand on the table.

'How...how can you say that bakugo? It's not their fault their quirkless and people bullying them for it is stupid.' Kirishima piped up to which kachans smile fell darting a look at me and sat down causing a loud bang.

'It's true though. Unfortunately they are not able to help people which puts them in the way. Their bodies aren't strong enough to handle anything really. Unlike us with quirks, our parents have made us strong by training us when we reach the age of five when our quirk blooms. It's sad but it's true. If that many people are dying of suicide instead of a natural death then we have to do something', Sue shared from the front of the class.

How come everyone else thinks like this? 'your in the way, move, your such a nuisance, normie, your such a freak, weakling, go die!' Kachans words from the past kept floating around and I slumped my head on the desk. Why. Why does everyone else think like this too. I thought I was being told that to be protected because he wanted to be a hero. Everyone else is saying the same things. It's not like they have anything to prove, they don't know that I was quirkless. My eyes shift from the wall the the rest of the class, plastered clearly on everyone's face, that the quirkless are cripples to society no matter how hard they try to fight themselves.

'Alright, that's enough, Sue, you are correct in that way of thinking but to be able to reach that step, people need to be more aware of them. As heros you have to understand what the quirkless go through and become someone who they can believe in and reach out to. Become their hero. I have some clips here of some quirkless people here do you to look at.' With that sensei turned the lights off and played the first clip on the projector. On the clip there was a student curled up on the floor covered in blood. The person behind the camera kept kicking him in the chest saying that he wasn't good enough to breath the same air as him and the recipient sobbing 'I'm sorry, il do it better next time'. After that clip another was shown with the same guy who was curled up on the floor. In this he was plastered with bandages and was giggling in the interview. When asked about why, he just said its been ages since someone other than his parents spoke to him as an qual. He said that the beatings were fine, he felt that it was his fault. They had asked him to do their work but because it wasn't the grade they expected they beat him to a bloody pulp. He said it was ok, if he wasn't able to be helpful with a quirk then a brain is all he needed to get somewhere so he deserved it for failing them. When asked what they would do to him he said that it wasn't only physical abuse it was mental. He was constantly told he was useless and to kill himself. If asked whether he was suicidal he laughed. He said no chance, if I did my friends would feel guilty and he didn't want that for them. They were his friends.

Alternatively the clip changed to his abusers. They were brutally honest. Stating everything they had done to him including using their quirks to permanently damage his body. When asked why, they said it was a good pass time. A bit of fun. They hated him so much yet all he had was love towards them. When the clip had finished it showed some text stating 'two weeks later, he threw himself off a building killing himself with a note in his pocket stating sorry I was useless.'

Everyone just sat eyes wide, staring at the blank screen, jaw hanging. Even kachans back was stiff. *click

The film changed onto a bold man sat on a seat slumped over with his hands on his face crying. 'I lost my job as a garbage man because someone had a quirk that allowed them to pick up more things than me. I didn't do anything. I haven't taken any sick leave or holiday leave for 10 years. I went to see a lawyer and they looked the other way. I'm in debt, I have no family, I'm starving. Nobody wants to hire a middle age person let alone one that has no quirk. I'm useless. I knew what people are like. I always told myself not to give in but I can't do it any longer. I need help but no one can give it to me. The clip changed onto a psychologist sitting in the same chair,

'Many quirkless people cling onto people. Even if that person is unfriendly to them. They can find a rational reason for that action. No matter how far they get pushed away, they keep coming back. Many scientists have suggested it's evolutionary and as a way for them to survive they attach themselves to things much powerful to protect them. Just as we have a limit for our quirks, they have a limit on their rationality. This is the reason why many quirkless choose suicide because they finally clicked that they really are not wanted.'

You remember that knot I was talking about. That sick feeling well this is exactly what I'm feeling in this moment, kachan Actually wanted me to die?

I tore my eyes away from the projected, tears building up. I was never his friend. He's always hated my. My chest was getting tighter, breathing getting heavier, anxiety growing. If that's the case then my current friends are only there because I inherited a quirk. So in theory they only like my quirk.

Bakugo a PoV

The videos. They were disgusting. The ball that guy was curled in reminded him of midoriya, 'I'm sorry il do better next time kachan!' Every time he bullied midoriya he would never take the hint for him to just go away. I was gonna be the best hero and with that twerp around me the whole time made me look like a weakling especially when he offered help. He looked down on me. The second video I felt awful. The boy was covered in bandages and scars from the mass of abuse he was receiving. The fact that he failed to see the fault of the others made him feel sick. The last answer made me feel worse, 'I wouldn't want them to feel guilty. They're my friends'. It's an exaggerated version of us right deku. At which I stiffened up thinking about it.

The psychologist however made me feel like I was at deaths door. I'm supposed to be a fucking hero. This psychologist said its not his fault? How is it not his fault? If he hadn't clung onto me I could be better, he's holding me back... Wait a minute... If what that psychologist is saying is correct then that means he thought that we were friends this entire fucking time?! Wait wait wait, that psychologist said they have a limit right, they are unaware of it themselves right? If that's true that video just unlocked a huge fucking door for deku just now didn't it?!

Bakugo slowly turned around to look at midoriya. Midoriyas head was lying on the desk having a panic attack. Everything he believed in just shattered to pieces with only bakugo understanding his inner turmoil. 'That's it for today, we'll carry this on tomorrow, please reflect over this and bring any suggestions u have to prevent an issue like this from happening'. Immediately, midoriya shoved very item in his desk into his slim bag fighting off a waterfall of tears.

'I suppose u want me to apologise'

Bakugo said in a low tone, no answer but he stops moving

'Well too bad. It was your fault too. How was I supposed to know you take them as friendly gestures, I just did what I did to make you back of-'

'Did you mean it?'

Midoriya managed to pick his head up and look bakugo straight in the eye. He wasn't smiling like his usual self, his face was miserable but angry yet straight faced. 'Kachan Did you mean it when you told me to go kill myself'

Midoriya said this in a quivering quiet voice and unable to handle this new character of Izuku, Bakugo turned away and said 'yeah, because I hat-'

At that moment

Midoriya walked passed him giving him a death stare, 'Bakugo, Don't You Ever Speak To Me Again'.

He never calls me Bakugo


	2. Chapter 2 (fixed): Broken

'I don't care'

'What the hell Bakugo, what did you say to him bro? I haven't ever seen midoriya pull a face like that before.' Kirishma questioned walking over to Bakugo ready to leave. At this point every one was staring at him from the commotion they had just witnessed. 'We just-We just had a difference in opinion so shut it shitty hair.'

'I dunno man, if looks could kill, ya know-'BOOM, an explosion left bakugous hand into the face of kirishima who was coughing.

'Whatever' and with that bakugou picked up his things and left the room while kirishima scurried after him 'whoa, sorry man.'

I don't care was the exact opposite of what bakugou was feeling. He had a tightness in his chest that he couldn't shake. He did mean what he said when he told Izuku to take a swan dive off a building but he said it knowing full well that deku wouldn't listen to him. After all he never did. So why did that stick to deku so much he wondered. Midoriya calling him bakugou instead of kacchan hurt him the most but he had no idea why!

Midoriyas PoV

He sprinted from the teaching grounds straight to the student dorms. He swung the front doors open, dodged the lift and jumped up the flight of stairs. He had floods of tears blinding him, still panting heavily. He found the key card to his room and slammed the door behind him. Why am I so stupid! Why did I think I could be anything. I should have taken the jump. I'm so useless. Even so-even so. I thought kacchan stood by me! I thought we were friends but he meant every word he ever said to me. With tightness in his chest and uncoordinated breathing he collapsed to the floor from the panic attack passing out.

A few hours later he woke up still lying on the floor. At first he was confused but not for long. He remembered. Something in him broke. He didn't feel like laughing, crying or thinking. There was a knock at the door but he just sat there staring into space with a monotone look.

Bakugous PoV

It was evening now and everyone was settled down eating. All except one. 'Hmm I guess he went out training' Mineta said walking down the hallway. 'Probably stress relief eh bakugou or should I call you kacchan now as midoriya isn't calling you that anymore haha' Denki shouted with a large grin on his face. Ouch. That stung him. He just sat there continuing to stare at his phone blankly reflecting on the day. 'Say what did happen to you guys earlier?' Jiro questioned from the opposite side of the room (a safe distance perhaps) which bokugou continued to ignore.

Flashback

'Did you really mean it when you told me to kill myself?!'

Ping. Again. That tightness in his chest continued. 'Well if I remember correctly, earlier in the year, didn't bakugou call midoriya 'quirkless'? Considering what the topic was today suggests that their conversation or rather outburst was about that.' Sue carefully pointed out cocking her head to one side 'and if dark shadows not mishearing things, he could have sworn he heard midoriya say that you told him to kill himself' tokoyami approached to where bakugou was sitting, saying in a calm manner but clearly thought otherwise as dark shadow grew bigger symbolising his anger. Ping. This time bakugou kicked the chair out from underneith him and grabbed tokoyami by the throat, 'shut the fuck up bird brain, you have no idea what the fucking problem is. So why don't u and you and your extra go find a cave to destroy considering you can't even control it. What right do you have to tell me what's right and wrong when you almost killed us back at the training camp because you shed a little blood.' Suddenly ice started forming on his leg from where todoroki was touching the floor. Dark shadow took this opportunity nutting bokugou on the head with his own causing tokoyami to be thrown to the floor. 'Fucking bird'

'Cough it up bakugou, what did you mean when you said midoriya was quirkless' todoroki hissed. As the ice was rising, bokugous lips turned blue, he couldn't sweat leaving him no choice but to answer half and half. 'You know. *huff* The reason why dekus bones break every time he uses it is simply because he's quirkless.' Everyone's faces were puzzled. Eyes squinting forcing him to carry on. 'Deku never developed a quirk. *huff* He was planning to hit this school being a quirkless individual to which I told him and kept telling him he couldn't. *huff*But he wouldn't take no for an answer god damn it. I ha to bully him. Prove him wrong. *huff* No one was stopping me. Teachers watched. There was others too. I just thought he was a wimp. *huff* He never stood up for himself. He just accepted the beatings but saying he wanted to be this fucking hero. No. That's me. That's what I want to be. *huffff* Deku developed his quirk right before the exam which was a fucking miracle. Until today I never realised the effect that treatment can have on a quirkless. And because. *huffff* Because deku didn't reach this limit, he never hit reality and now and he hates me even more than I hate him. *huff* Yea, I told him to take a swan dive off a roof and I meant it but I know him enough to know that he wouldn't do such a thing. But now he acts like this and I don't know what I'm feeling. *huff* Don't tell me what I've done. You have no right. I know exactly what it is I've done now get your bastard fucking ice off me half an half!' Before todoroki could finish defrosting Bakugo, he managed to work his quirk breaking the rest of the ice that was still attached to his feet. He then stormed out of the room knocking rikido with so much force he hit the ground and with a grunt slammed the door behind him.

Todoroki sat there crouching on the floor still thinking to himself. How is it even possible for him to have awoken his quirk so late. It's rare that a child awakens their quirk 2 years late but awakening it after 10 years is impossible so how on earth did he manage to-

His thoughts were interrupted by yaoyorozu who voiced the facts he was thinking making her whip out her phone trying to find a plausible explanation. 'That's what your worried about? Bakugous never spoken about midoriya like that. It sounded like he actually cared for him for once. He looked in pain.' Kirishima pointed out now helping tokoyami off the floor. 'And that's what your worried about? Midoriyas the one who's having the crisis not bakugou just because he's feeling guilty' tokoyami snapped back. 'Yeah right, he only cares now because he knows Midoriyas prepared to beat the fuck out of him now, YEAH!' Mina joked while poking at jiro. Being encouraged jiro said,'i hope he doesn't find midoriya then for both of their sakes I guess.'

After a few seconds of silence ururaka then voiced her own opinion, 'Hey guys, if Midoriyas always had that mindset, and ya know, he's been punched into that limit line. Surely that means he's gonna change right. I mean those videos earlier shown a complete shift In personalities-'

'And so it may not only be bokugou that his attitude has turned against. Think about it. If the tables had turned and midoriya had still been quirkless yet he was able to get into the hero course, you think we would have treated him differently?' Lida said finishing off what Ururaka had implied.

It had been a few minutes to which they had all been standing there just thinking to their selves until sue spoke up. 'You know guys, I really don't think we would treat him the same let alone be friends with him because unfortunate as it is, we would most likely see him as a burden who we would always need to watch no matter how much hand to hand combat he could use.' There were faces of retaliation among the group yet none of them could speak up because deep down they all had felt the same. They then gave up on an argument and agreed with eye contact and a few 'yeah's' circulated through out the room. 'I guess he really would be seen as useless' Mineta said in a quiet voice

Little did they know that behind the door leading to the stairwell stood deku peering through a glass window listening to every single word.


End file.
